This article could also be titled “Why does Transformation take so long?”
I used to hear friends, preachers, and/or people who I saw as very close to God talk about transformation. As I continued in my walk with God, I would wonder, “Am I different, have I been transformed.” As I was going through this questioning, I realized I need to be paying more attention to what transformation meant and how it applies to me. Therefore, I had to have some sort of definition to work from. A dear friend who ministers in the area of transformation defines it this way: “Transformation happens when God’s love meets my undefended vulnerability.” Some define it as a regeneration of sorts. Many look at transformation as a change in how you think, feel, and do things…doing those things from a godly point of view. David Brenner, in Surrender to Love gives this thought: “It is the experience (not the knowledge) of love that is transformational. You simply cannot bask in divine love and not be affected.”
So, why does transformation seem to take so long? Why do I struggle with the feeling that I am not being transformed? God has all power; He can transform me in an instant. Why is He not doing that?
Let’s start with my motivation to be transformed. Why do I want to be transformed? Is my motivation to be godlier? Is my motivation to be a better father and husband? Is my motivation to get me to heaven? Is my motivation to rid myself of sin? Is my motivation to have a Christian image? The list can go on and on. All of these are good motivations to be transformed. However, I believe that my motivation should be to glorify and draw closer to God. Like so many other things in my life, I try to improve myself for the wrong or other motivations. My motivation to be transformed in any part of my life should be to the glory of God. If it is not, it is likely to not stick. Like I said before, those other motivations are good and many times noble, but they are connected to things that are fleeting and mortal. If my motivation is tied to glorifying God…It is tied to something eternal…something that lasts and has a strong support system. Furthermore, I try to transform myself, by my own power. I may set out to be a more patient man. I can keep it up for a while, but eventually I am going to crumble somewhere and not be patient. I do not have the strength alone to keep my patience in this world. I have to draw on the power of God. My motivation must rely on a higher power than just me.
Many times I ask, “Why is God not transforming me in an instant? God can do what He wants when He wants.” It’s not a question of whether He can, or if He will. God is capable of anything. Because He is capable of anything, He transforms me in His time. This is very difficult to comprehend for me at times. This concept relates heavily to my last article: A Societal Dilemma. In that article I talked about a microwave philosophy vs. a crock pot philosophy. I want microwave transformation, God uses a crock pot. I want to see and feel it happen right now. At times, I even feel a sudden rush of transformation. So many of us have felt that power of the Holy Spirit move us quite a distance in a short period. We are moved by a sermon, or experience something on a retreat, and/or through a study and we feel that transformation happening. However, it does not seem to last, at least it does not feel that way. Part of this is our microwave solution. Those experiences are transforming, but they are only the beginning of the journey that the transformation God is doing in our lives, in my life. The experience is the initial boiling of the water in the crock pot. Now, God has turned it down to simmer that really makes the ingredients blend for the final, tasty dish He has created. The problem for me is that during the “simmer” I may not be seeing or feeling the change that is happening in me. I have found after those “mountain top” type experiences, I need follow-up to keep the transformation on track. It’s like adding salt occasionally to keep the taste working. Even the follow-up does not always allow me to see where I am as opposed to where I was. And, many times the follow-up is painful and uncomfortable. That does not mean God is not working. In fact, it means HE IS working. He is changing me from what I was to what I am or am going to be. But, what about repeating the same sin? How am I transformed when I continue in the sin I have been washed of?
I buy in to two things about that. One, Satan is a liar. He whispers in my ear “you keep repeating your sin, you cannot be forgiven; God will give up on you and throw you away.” Recently in our men’s group, we were doing an exercise on shame. During that exercise the passage about the woman caught in adultery and brought to Jesus was used. Now, what is significant about this passage is who the condemners are; they are not Jesus, they are the Pharisees, the ones who have bought Satan’s lies. In fact as I read through the Bible, God may give consequences to His people, but He does not condemn. Satan is called the accuser in Revelation. Our condemnation about our sin comes from Satan, not God. Now, God is holy and in Him is no sin, but He is constantly working on our hearts to redeem us from that sin. Guilt we feel for violating God’s commands are only to draw us to Him. Guilt that cripples us is from the evil one.
The second thought about my sin and my transformation is said best by James Bryan Smith in his book The Good and Beautiful God. Beginning on page 156 he says:
“…even though we have become new people spiritually, we still live our lives in our old self’s body, which contains the remnants of sin. We still have our old narratives, our old memories and our old habits. We still live in a world that stands diametrically opposed to the truth of God. This why we still struggle with sin even after we’re regenerated.”
“The battle between flesh and Spirit does not end when we come up from the waters of baptism—in fact, that is precisely when it begins.”
This is a key to my transformation. I need not focus on what I was. I need to focus on what I have become and where I am going. I do not need to listen to the liar, but the Redeemer.
I ask myself, “What are some ways I can see my transformation in action when it seems to me it is not happening?” First, and obvious, remembering those “mountain top” experiences that God placed in my path. God uncovers a part of me and pours in His grace. I warn you, some of these experiences are not always pleasant…that does not mean God is not working. As I reflect back on those, those were turns or new paths in my journey that God has revealed.
Second, the follow-up to those experiences helps me to dig deeper into what God has uncovered. If I do not follow-up, I am likely to let what could be a transformational experience die away. Or, God re-kindles it with a similar experience.
Third, (and this one is risky because it takes me out of my comfort zone) I check in with people who know me well. I ask them about changes they have seen in me. Also, along those lines, listen to people who I am around regularly and pick up on whether or not I am a changed person in a certain arena.
Fourth, I practice journaling and silence. Now, I am not some great and/or consistent journal writer…I journal in spurts. However, I have written things in the past in some sort of fashion and I run across these writings occasionally (And I believe this is not by accident, God is revealing a piece of my transformation) and find that I have come some distance in my journey. Times of silence and reflection show me where I have come.
Finally, I look at my context. Where is my faith right now? Am I making an impact? What am I doing with God? As I look at those things, I see some distance and growth in my journey. I see where I am partnering with God in His work. I have to stop and do this occasionally because I tend to look past where I am with Him in order to look for something “bigger” to do.
In retrospect, as I ponder on the questions at the beginning of this article, I realize that God gives me glimpses into my own transformation. Even the writing on this blog is a transformational experience for me. If you would have asked me several years ago if I thought I would be a blogger, I would have told you, “You’re nuts!” It is only by God’s nudging and redemption that I am where I am right now. However, my journey still continues.
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